and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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