Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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