Got a toothbrush?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
