he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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