just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Someone shattered a urinal.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
