6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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