So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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