we made out on top of his cat.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
