There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
