And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
