i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
