They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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