if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
