Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
