no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
