I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
