I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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