the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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