We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
