Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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