Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
