PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize