Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
wow bdsm is so cute
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
