I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
