dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't put those talents on a resume
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
