when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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