Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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