so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
