Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
