If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
