the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
