I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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