Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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