I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Drake has all the answers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
