No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
