Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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