She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
