I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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