I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
