Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
