I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
