I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
COCAINE IS GR8
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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