As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
zippers are such a cool invention
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
