I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
handjob tips. give me some.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
