he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
