.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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