If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
