its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize