i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
