I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize