I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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