He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
