that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
