i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
