you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Randomize
