I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
