can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
