if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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