everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I haven't been this sober since birth.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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