We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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