ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
