Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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