i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
