some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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