I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
