Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
