mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
