I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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