CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
