I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
