I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
