Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Randomize