Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
